Wow Rush.

Wow an actual pearl slipped out of Rush. I suppose it has to happen on occasion though it is very very rare. This pearl was brought to my attention by the Huff post article. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/19/rush-limbaugh-background-checks-media-mental-illness_n_2718908.html
Though his moment of clarity was short and of course he then goes back to his own delusional ranting and proving that he himself would likely under his rules not be allowed to rant on the radio. I went over and read the Obama Puppetmaster piece he was complaining about and yeah it is sadly what seems to pass for journalism lately. 

As I pointed out about the Pope is going to be arrested nonsense, the Newtown conspiracy stuff, and hell even creationism and the tea party. All this comes from either misinformed idiots, often well meaning idiots but idiots none the less, or those with their own political or monetary agenda. The internet has been a wonderful thing, but it does give someone a soap box to stand on. In the past these various subversive influences would go their entire life without either voicing their opinions or finding someone of the same mind on an issue. Now elements that in the past whos brand of stupid or crazy would have remained as such can disseminate these opinions to a wider audience.

The fact is this has caused a good sized portion of the population to stop using the common sense God gave them. They go on about conspiracies and attribute things to people and thngs that for the most part a rational person would go ehhhhh maybe but I doubt it. Americans need to start using common sense again and ditch this fervor to belief whatever asinine thing they are told. As my mother once told me you need to ask yourself why are you being told something. What will they gain by your belief of what they told you. If it is for money or election purposes it is probably an indication you ought to look into it more than accept it at face value. 

I think I will expand on this but it is late and it is time for this little heathen to go to bed. 

ITCCS the fake court and it's run by an alleged Con Artist Kevin Annett

For the last 4-5 days this seems to be the thing flying through cyber space and as much as I would like it to be true it isn't. The International Tribunal into Crimes of Church and State would be better calling themselves the International tribunal of Crap. From the moment that this came out I have been shocked at how fast it was picked up and spread with no actual bother to check the facts. So let me lay the facts out for those who don't know.

Think the first has to be the legal standing of the "court". The funny thing is when you go to their about page they are very honest about the fact they have no legal standing and state that those they are going after are the Vatican and Crown of England. But the truly worrying part is this:

 "It is understood by our Court that its decisions, based as they are on Natural and Common Law, supersede and invalidate all statutes and statutory laws which conflict with the decisions of the Court, particularly when those statues uphold crimes or their concealment, or the protection of the guilty. Similarly, our Court does not recognize the jurisdiction or authority of any contending legal systems, such as the so-called “Canon Law”, or any form of personal, diplomatic or legal immunity governing any person or institution, including heads of states, churches and corporations." 

So basically they don't have to deal with due process or any other pesky rules that they don't like or would keep them from reaching the decision they have made. and as far as I can tell that decision was made before any proceeding. They even go on to say:

"The final verdicts and findings of the Court and Tribunal will be made public in the form of a final public Report whose decisions will be enforced by the Common law Peace Officers and their agents, if regular peace officers refuse to do so. These decisions can and will include the imprisonment and community sentencing of the guilty, the issuing of commercial Liens and Orders of Expropriation against church, corporate and state institutions and their property and assets, orders of Reparation and Compensation, and the return of all land, property, unpaid taxes, and revenue obtained through forced labor."

So basically they will enforce their decisions since no officer of the law would enforce decisions made by a court that doesn't exist. It is little wonder that they have had no success in any of their actions.

The next bit is the members of the "tribunal" which is only one person a Kevin D. Annett, M.A., M.Div. Now here is where things get weird because you cannot find anything about him that is not something he himself has posted. No news articles or anything after some digging I did come across another blog and this is where the Kevin Annett thing becomes weird. At least according to the blog, named Stop Kevin Annett interestingly enough, Kevin is the world’s biggest Con Artist.  As I read through posts it started becoming evident that his little attempt for attention through the resigning of the Pope is not the first attention grabbing attempt. This post details his involvement with the excavation of "mass graves" in Canada[i]. There are other various posts on the web site and links to other sources. So far it has pretty much told me what I already knew about Kevin and his "court".

The final nail in this coffin has to be the fact that this is not the first time that these grandiose statements have been made. On the 7th of September 2012 the ITCCS made a statement and I have included the relevant bits[ii].

One Week to go Before Direct Actions Commence Against Child-Killing Churches

By Kevin D Annett, ITCCS, Dublin Ireland –

7 September 2012 

An Update and Plan of Action from Kevin D. Annett, ITCCS fieldworker 

Breaking News Item: Vatican officials have one week to respond to ten requirements issued last May by survivors of church terror, or face permanent banishment, occupations and legal summonses. In this event, our Common Law Court will publicly convene in seven countries on September 15, to publicly share and judge extensive evidence of criminal actions by church and state.

The following day, in the midst of Catholic masses around the world, a Public Banishment Order will be issued, binding on every catholic establishment. Church occupations will then follow. The Banishment Order will, in effect, expel the Catholic Church from our communities and declare their churches and other property open to all people for their own use, like the homeless. Church officials will then be illegally trespassing and subject to arrest. This evidence will be simulcast to nearly one hundred citizen jurors in seven countries by the prosecutors of the Court, for the jurors’ deliberation. And a transcript of the evidence and cases will be available online to anyone and the media. 

So in summary here is our Plan of Action: 

1. Saturday, September 15: Public Court Case against the Vatican commences 

2. Sunday, September 16: Banishment Order is read inside and outside Roman Catholic churches in seven countries 

3. Monday, September 17: Permanent Occupation of Catholic churches and institutions commence worldwide 

4. Sunday, September 23: Third and Final Public Exorcism is held aimed at the spirit and power behind the Vatican (to be televised and posted)

Well I have to wonder why none of us heard about this on the 17th of September. It probably has something to do with the fact that it didn't happen. When one searches all you can find are links to articles that trace back to the ITCCS website. So it is a huge circle with no outside backing or references. Though I do find that the end of his statement there was this interesting tidbit about his being able to enter the UK. I have not actually been able to find out who the elders are, but given everything else it is probably just Annett.

I learned today that our ITCCS Council of Elders in Brussels was just informed by trusted sources of theirs in the British civil service and the European Parliament that the Home Office in London has declared me, Kevin Annett, a threat to British national security allegedly for having “caused threats to the peace of mind and security of Her Majesty”. I am therefore to be immediately detained and imprisoned under the Fixated Threat Assessment Protocol (FTAP) the moment I set foot on British soil.

Well here is the thing about FTAP, first it is that it is actually the FTAC, Fixated Threat Assessment Centre[iii]. This is basically the list of people that are stalkers or feel that their grievances or personal position justify breaking the law. This is pretty much what this fellow does. He has created a fake court and gets people to donate to it and then goes around threatening to arrest the Queen of all people. For some odd reason the Brits get a little touchy about that, I can't imagine why *rolls eyes* I don't think he is a danger, except maybe to the people he cons money out of, but I can see why it is better to stick him on a list and leave it at that than to give this fruit cake a platform to speak from.

My hope is that helps clear up the whole Pope leaving office reports. I am not a Catholic, never was one either, but I did attend a Catholic University and have Catholic friends. But that is not why I felt the need to write this. I wrote this because no matter what you believe or don't the truth is important. And if there is to be justice it has to be found through truth, not smear campaigns and fake courts. At the end of the day I do not think that the Catholic Church or the Pope do not deserve to be brought to justice. But I do think it needs to happen in a real court with real evidence and not be used by a man for his own gain.

I am not the only one to question the ITCCS here are a few other pages that have tackled this subject.
 http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread926267/pg1
http://www.renegadecatholic.com/blog/2011/06/victims-laughingstocks/

http://stopkevinannett.wordpress.com/

Made a small edit since a link wasn't showing up and fixed the formatting on the ITCCS alert from September so it was easier to read.

---

[i] http://stopkevinannett.wordpress.com/2012/11/12/your-daily-carrot/

[ii] http://itccs.org/2012/09/07/one-week-to-go-before-direct-actions-commence-against-child-killing-churches/

[iii] http://www.met.police.uk/foi/pdfs/disclosure_2010/december/2010110003591.pdf

The UN and your guns the ATT

This particular post came from a disagreement with a person in the comment section of one of the many news articles that I stumble across. Mind you never had really looked into it because well I remember a debate on the issue coming up years ago on the UN and forcing us to comply, even at the time I found laughable for several reasons. Namely how they could if we didn't want to what were they going to do come and beat up a country with the second largest standing army? Not to mention if all they did when Iraq and Iran misbehave is introduce sanctions it makes it highly unlikely, even improbable anything would happen. I always am amused at how people can let people spin them a story and they will cling to it even when all the evidence is to the contrary especially if guns are involved. So the troll gave me opportunity to actually look around, and mind you it took some digging because this conspiracy seems to have taken a firm hold and it is so ridiculous few have even bothered to point out how it couldn't happen.

""Americans also shouldn’t be quick to believe the UN’s claims that the ATT will not infringe on Americans’ Second Amendment rights. A report by the UN Coordinating Action on Small Arms titled “The Impact of Poorly Regulated Arms Transfers on the Work of the UN,” recognizes, on the one hand, that states have a right to “individual or collective self-defense” and that “the ATT does not aim to impede or interfere with the lawful ownership and use of weapons.” Yet on the other hand it states that because of the problem of diversion, or the transfer of weapons to the illicit market, “the arms trade must therefore be regulated in ways that would…minimize the risk of misuse of legally owned weapons.” " http://townhall.com/tipsheet/leahbarkoukis/2012/11/13/will_the_arms_trade_treaty_suppress_second_amendment_rights
AND:
http://blog.heritage.org/2012/07/23/5-fundamental-flaws-in-the-u-n-arms-trade-treaty/
So, so wrong. You can research it yourself.http://www.un.org/disarmament/ATT/ "

So I went and read the articles and then went to some moderate and liberal websites to help balance out the far right opinions contained in the provided links she gave. So I framed my response based on the info that I was able to locate.

"Okay I read your articles and even read the ATT pages you

provided from the UN. What little common themes that exist in the information does not read all that differently than International Financial Reporting Standards.

Now like the IFRS this treaty will not have any effect within American borders for three very specific reasons.

1. It is dealing with the international trade of guns. So unless you are planning on selling weapons to someone outside of the US it will not effect you. As it stands now each country has it's own rules on who can sell guns what countries guns can be sold to and so on ad nauseum. This would provide an international standard for trade between countries, which is why several countries hate it since they make a great deal selling off old weapons and providing them to everyone and their brother for the right price, even our government on occasion. It has nothing to do with internal standards but international. So unless you are selling weapons on the black market then I think your safe.

2.Now this is the most important part of the whole thing. The president actually is not that powerful despite the Bush era of adding to the presidential powers. All international treaties the U.S. agrees to require the approval of two-thirds of the senators present before the treaties can be ratified. And even then on the unlikely chance it somehow got through that body which I seriously doubt you could but if it did happen it would get struck down by the Supreme Court. Which according to a great article at factcheck.org points out, the supreme court "ruled just four years ago that the District of Columbia’s own ban on handguns violated residents’ Second Amendment rights." You also have a previous ruling on international treaties of Reid v. Covert which held that the US constitution supersedes that of international treaties ratified by the Senate. And even more important is the Medellín v. Texas ruling says that the President can not enforce international treaties unless they comply with the constitution and/or the Senate. So the application domestically would fail since it would violate the 2nd Amendment.

3. And finally it has to approved by all the member states, and since Russia is sticking to it's guns I just don't see it happening. Not to mention it will take forever to get all the countries to all approve of the final draft. If you just read the views of the 46 or so participating states (http://www.un.org/ga/search/view_doc.asp?symbol=A%2FCONF.217%2F2&Lang=E)

they are probably no where near coming up with anything all of them can agree on.

Here is the fact check link and the Supreme court rulings are available on wikipedia. And of course thehttp://www.un.org/disarmament/ATT/

http://www.factcheck.org/2012/06/still-no-international-gun-ban-treaty/

Apparently this was not enough evidence which given she was a troll that is not something new. So she trots out what I can only assume is her Pièce de résistance that will put me in my place. Shame she chose a very bad one and one I was expecting since it was the same silly one I remember from back in the day. One that I was against back in the day when I still was part of the Republican party so I am familiar with it.

Troll:
Right. "How could the gun-grabbing Obama Regime impose this clearly anti-2nd Amendment, Treaty-mandated arms registration scheme on the American people without the Senate first giving its advice and consent?

“When a nation signs a treaty it is obligated to refrain from actions that would defeat the object and purpose of the treaty until such time as it makes clear its intent not to become a party to the treaty.” (1) This is language from Article 18 of the Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties. Adopted in 1969, 111 nations
have ratified the Vienna Convention, a treaty which has become known as the “Treaty of Treaties” and is “…widely recognized as the authoritative guide vis-à-vis the formation and effects of treaties.” (2)
Many versed in international law argue that the “object and purpose” language of the Vienna Convention means that “…a nation that has signed a treaty is prohibited either from violating the treaty altogether or from violating the treaty’s core or important provisions.” (1) Although the United Nations have taken great pains to make certain that no specific Treaty language has made its way to the American public, a Spanish representatives made clear his own “object and purpose” when he said the UN “… will be happy to honestly contribute to reduce their number (weapons), [and] to regulate buying and sell of arms…” If this is what the completed Treaty hopes to achieve—and we can bet it will be—Barack Obama will have signed onto the most anti-gun rights document in the nation’s history. (3)" http://www.westernjournalism.com/obama-could-nullify-the-2nd-amendment/

Here was my response though it is pretty elementary and given the reasons trotted out in defense of Bush's refusal to recognize the ICC you would think she would know why the Vienna Convention can't be used. Heck I even traced it back to the place where she got the idea that the treaty had been ratified and therefore used.

Me:

Well that would work if the Vienna Convention had it been ratified by the Senate. Unfortunately it hasn't so it can not be used to force the issue.

http://www.state.gov/s/l/treaty/faqs/70139.htm

Or scroll down on the UN page and it shows that it was signed on April 25, 1970 but has not been ratified we are one of 15 countries that have yet to ratify it.

http://treaties.un.org/pages/ViewDetailsIII.aspx?&src=UNTSONLINE&mtdsg_no=XXIII%7E1&chapter=23&Temp=mtdsg3&lang=en

To give you a recent example of another Treaty that was signed but not ratified would be the Rome Convention. If you will recall it caused a bit of a dust up during the Bush Jr. Presidency.

"Although the U.S. originally voted against the adoption of the Rome Statute, President Bill Clinton unexpectedly reversed his position on December 31, 2000, and signed the treaty but indicated that he would not recommend that his successor, George W. Bush, submit it to the Senate for ratification. On May 6, 2002, the Bush administration announced that it was nullifying the U.S. signature of the treaty. The main objections to the ICC offered by the Bush administration were interference with national sovereignty and a fear of politically motivated prosecutions. President Barack Obama has taken no action to change the U.S. position on the ICC he inherited from G.W. Bush."

http://docbonn.wordpress.com/2012/11/07/why-doesnt-the-u-s-recognize-international-law-ask-doc-bonn/

Now given the way you are interpreting the Vienna Convention in theory if it had been ratified then the International community could have made a serious issue of President Clinton having signed the Rome Convention. However since it had not been ratified it could not be used to force the issue and trust me there are alot of countries that would like to try several members of the Bush Administration for war crimes. But with the nullification of the signature it is a moot issue.

So to sum up for your scenario to occur we either have to get the Senate to ratify the Vienna Convention. Which given it's ramifications for Americas sovereignty not to mention all the members of the Bush Jr Administration who would then be subject to the ICC I doubt that it will be ratified.

Or the other route we have to get two thirds of the Senate to agree to the treaty, when I doubt you could get half of them to agree on what color the sky is on any given day. Even further they would have to ratify a treaty that I would say well over 50% of American citizens would have issues with, and given politicians like to be re-elected makes it even harder to get them to go along with anything that would be less than popular. But we will play the billion to one odds that he could somehow force it through the Senate. We once again have the Supreme Court hurdle and you can bet it would run through the courts like wild fire and the Supreme Court would do it's job and rule it unconstitutional and that would be that.

The response back was not very nice and I will not repeat because it was all libelous theories on my parent’s marital status when I was born and as well my mother's profession. Of course she is entitled to her opinion I suppose. I just don't get how when confronted with facts some people cannot deal with them without resorting to name calling. Even better at least make an attempt to give some sort of actual proof. My guess is she is a birther as well. I just don't get how anyone could live with that much fear in their life without getting an ulcer. But like all irrational arguments it seems too often they forget if they really wanted to do these things why go about it in such a roundabout way.

First of many on personal liberties. Gun Control

The more I read on the subject of personal privacy and governmental intrusions makes me wonder where the line has to be drawn. Living in the UK the most notable example would have to be the Super injunctions. These super injunctions basically boil down to what the media can and can't report of peoples individual lives. Mind you this is something most of the rest of us will never have to worry about since well doubt any scandalous behaviour on my part would sell more than a couple news papers. But the fight has begun over what is private and what is public. How much of ones life should be opened to the public at large?

Then we can move on to the other various issues that come out of this namely internet restrictions, gun control, marriage, birth control, and a myriad of things that we often think is only our business. So what rule should be applied? The simple answer would be when it violates our inalienable rights of life, liberty, or the pursuit of happiness. But how do we separate these out and say when these various issues come under the purview of legislation. I think one of the main factors is when your individual actions will violate someone else's life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. Though I feel a caveat is necessary and that is directly effects you not effects you because you are a nosey neighbor or can't mind your own business. I think I shall deal with each issue individually. So first up would be Gun Control.

I have spent a long time thinking on these issues especially since I grew up in the great gun toting state of Texas, and in a very rural area so I have always been around guns. Both my mother and brother are NRA members and I was and still am an excellent marksman. And maybe I have an odd perspective since I am now residing in the UK where they have many gun restrictions. This is contrary to what most Americans may think, it does not mean that people in the UK do not own firearms. Handguns are pretty much non existent but many people hunt and have rifles and shotguns. The main difference is that to own a gun one must pass several tests and prove that well they are of sound mind and can hit the broadside of a barn. Yes it is limiting and you can't just go down to the gun store and purchase a firearm, but it seems at least to me that they have found a decent balance between personal liberties and the needs of society. i.e. not being a danger to other citizens.

While you can never completely remove the possibility of gun crime the question is how do you lessen the effects? To see the difference in how the gun laws can make a difference I thought it was best to look at murder rates as a whole. Especially since the most recent figure I could find for murders with firearms was 2002, there were 14 murders with a firearms in the UK and 9,369 in the US. In 2009 there were 15,241 murders in the United States and in 2009 the UK had only 724. Since there is a bit of a difference in populations between America and the UK it can be broken down into the rate based on 100,000 per population. For the US it was 5, so 5 murders for every 100,000 people, and the UK it was 1.2. To me these numbers are not absolute but it does raise the question what are they doing differently here? If we just take the 2002 figures it seems to suggest that because of the more restrictions and the harder it is to purchase and own a firearm that there are less murders. Now the problem is how do we address the very real concept of the right to bear arms which is important enough to have been made into the second Amendment of our constitution and protecting the citizens of the US.

I do not think any purpose is served by removing guns and that for some portions of the population who live in fear of their elected government to attempt to do so would be pointless. However I do think there is a compromise that could benefit both sides. I think we should treat guns like cars and increase licensing and testing to own and use the fire arm. This would mean showing you know how to properly handle the firearm and know how to safely use it. It is no different than the conceal to carry requirements in the state of Texas. It can easily be subsumed into the hunting licenses and would only be limited by your ability, not because of someone else or the government. Though I do think there should be certain firearms that for the very sake of the type of firearm they are should be limited if not allowed. These I would say are military firearms. I have a firm belief that the right to bear arms is an important and integral part of being an American I just have yet to hear one reasonable argument as to why anyone needs an uzi, ak-47, or god forbid a bazooka. I think the important part of the right to bear arms is to be able to hunt and defend your property. But there is a point of over kill and I think the desire to own firearms of this type has more to do with having watched one too many Rambo movies than a real need. Maybe someone can give me an example of when one of these types of guns was integral for hunting or home defence in the last 50 years on American soil and I might change my mind. But until then I see no reasonable excuse to have them.

I think the important part of the gun control argument has gotten drowned out by the screaming of both sides which is responsibility. By owning a firearm you have a responsibility to your fellow citizens to not kill them without good or justifiable cause. Because you don't like the way they look, their politics, or their lifestyle is not a good or justifiable cause. I think that for most normal Americans the big issue is the one of responsibility and that has to be, and needs to be, addressed by those of us who own and use firearms. The main dictate of common sense is just because you can doesn't mean you should. I think at this point that those of us who are leery of gun controls make the first step to hopefully compromise on the situation. That would be pushing for classes before the purchase of a particular fire arm, or even during the waiting period that already exists. Maybe a  requirement to take classes on the use and care of the firearm and maybe marksmanship classes, this goes back to my feeling you should be able to hit the board side of a barn. That maybe the various members of the household come and learn as well. I have always thought gun safety comes from education and familiarity with the firearm. I would think these types of requirements would go a long way to helping curb the deaths caused by guns in the US.

I also think it would make those who are wanting to, "take our guns away" realise that we are not oblivious to the issues and are willing to take steps to help deal with their concerns. I am not saying give in but that maybe it would help prove that we do understand some of their concerns and aren't willing to give in, but that maybe we can find a middle ground. Though suppose that is unacceptable these days since understanding and compromise are dirty words lately. I would love to hear arguments for and against since it is only through discussion we learn. I don't expect tot change anyone's opinion, but maybe get them to think about an issue from another perspective. 

Sources for murder figures:

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_mur_wit_fir-crime-murders-with-firearms

http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2011/oct/10/world-murder-rate-unodc?fb=native

Long days

Well the days are lengthening so you can tell spring is coming. Though the sun is setting around 5:30 now and it is still cold outside I have hopes that soon the weather will warm. Though suspect we shall see snow in February more the normal time for snow anyway. Though I am hoping it does not Snow but my flatmate is desperate for it to snow. Gods to be young again and think that snow and cold weather are wonderful. Now it only means that my joints ache and don't want to walk the dog. Even poor Puck is hesitant to go outside, especially as I make her wear a coat otherwise she is shivering so bad after 5 min outside she can't do her business. Oh well have several nice coats for her. Though it looks like rain today and that always is not fun for walking in. Though I will say the rain in England is so different from the rain in Texas. It feels different, sounds different, and tastes different.

I am used to the raw power of rain and in London it is more soothing even to go so far as you not even hearing it on your window pane. Not sure which I like better the soothing drizzle or the wild tempest. I think they both are nice in the right amount. One of those things that is strange but oddly enough I have little urge to return home because I miss the tempest. As I get older I enjoy the quiet, security, and freedom that the UK provides. Plus the very ground pulses with history and shades of times past. It draws me the way a good book does. To explore every building and space in the UK and then work my way through Europe. To eventually stand in Athens where Socrates and Plato shared their philosophies first. Then on to Rome the once powerful bastion that after Alexander controlled the known world for over a millenia and beyond. To stand where Victoria Franco first wrote and brought a female voice to Medieval/Renaissance women characters and who like Sappho would make it possible for women to step out of the confining roles that men would place us. To wonder at the pyramids and walk along the paths that my ancestors walked. To speak to the Gods and Goddesses in their old homes and temples. To remember my trip through the Mediterranean when I was 16 and the world was a wonderous place before I became cynical.

It is amazing how time can colour or look at the world and see the unvarnished truth. Why I wish more Americans traveled and with an open mind. The comment from a gentleman that Germany and the UK had a lower standard of living is proof that there are some screwed up people in the States. As my last year abroad starts to draw to a close I begin to wonder if I want to return to a country filled with such hate and ignorance.

Lazy Sunday

Well today has been a lazy day. Not thinking about my course and doing my best to avoid the news since even here in the UK there is talk of the American Republican Primary and well it is embarrassing. So spent the morning lazing about and started with a long list of Bogart movies. First it was of course the Maltese Falcon. Great film and probably the movie that made me first fall for him. Sam Spade has always been a favorite then on to All Through the Night. Then it was a debate but had to watch the African Queen, great paring of Bogie and Katherine Hepburn. Of course the sweet Sabrina with Audrey and now on to High Sierra a great film. Then a break for Sherlock since I am quite addicted to it and well have a bit of a crush on Sherlock. Probably should have spent the day watching the Basil Rathbone movies since the new Sherlock will be on in a few, but was in more of a Bogart mood. So after Sherlock will watch the iconic Casablanca and remember the times grandmother and I would talk about the movie. The most memorable line had to be "If it's December 1941 in Casablanca, what time is it in New York?" It was released after Pearl Harbor but was filmed before it. Maybe that is what prompted a Bogart movie day. Miss grandmother more and more and I suppose it won't get better anytime soon.

Well have class tomorrow and then think tomorrow evening that it will be Errol Flynn. Then can work around into Sherlock with Basil Rathbone. Watch him as a villan then move on to him as the hero :) of course. Feel a Shakespeare weekend this weekend is coming. Have a good collection of King Lear with Lawrence Olivier, Richard III with Ian McKellen, The Merchant of Venice with Pacino as Shylock, Henry V with Kenneth Branagh always great with Derek Jackoby as the Chorus, Othello, Midsummer Nights dream, Much Ado about nothing a personal favorite, and Hamlet with David Tennant. There are a few others but think I can have a very busy weekend and indulge my Shakespeare fetish and best I do it on my own where I can avoid annoying others. Oh well. Still wishing I had seen Kevin Spacey as Richard III oh well. Oh Sherlock is about to start I am off to watch and get some sleep.

Taxation

Well made it through the Taxation exam. One down next is the CIFA, current issues in Financial Accounting, test tomorrow then Thursday the Finance exam. At least the Taxation one was multiple choice, though I am not sure if that is better than essay based. At least with an essay you can make it sound like you know what your talking about even if you are a little bit unsure. Though multiple choice does offer a 1-4 chance of guessing the correct answer. Oh well going over EPS and Diluted EPS right now and praying that I have cash flow statements down. I will be so happy to finish in July then there is that job at the Olympics. Just have to make it through this then off to my dream job of working for the IRS or if I am really lucky a few more years in the UK working for HMRC.

I know tax should not get my motor running, but it is interesting. The twists and turn possible shelters and ways of treating income. Maybe we all are a little devious and that is why we decide to be accountants, but it fascinates me. To find the loop holes the small areas of wiggle room, heck even looking at investments that will be losses as a gain based on the amount of tax relief they give. I know I am a sad sad sad human, but always preferred to have my nose in a book. Besides suspect I can make a decent salary with accounting unlike History or English, with a concentration in Renaissance and Medieval studies :p Not too many openings for that degree unless I teach and well kids are cute, but well hate administrators and parents the two most likely things to cause students to leave school with no education.

Grand Returns

Well I am finally back in London and it is amazing how this city always manages to cheer me up. Even on the grayest day London can make me feel more alive than the brightest day in Houston. Maybe because I will always see it as I did on my first visit 20 years ago. I sometimes find it hard to believe it has been that long since I walked these streets for the very first time. We spent those three weeks in the theater and at the Tower of London, mom unfortunately kept asking us where we wanted to go and to a 12 year old and a 9 year old a castle is the only cool place to be. Think we found every nook and cranny that you are allowed to explore there and maybe a few you weren't supposed to. I do remember the theater and being depressed we were unable to see a Shakespeare play while here, even back then I had a troubling obsession with the Bard thankfully I have extended it to Marlowe and a few others now :). The Jack the Ripper tour in the dark and being told not to touch the walls as we wandered through alleys and dark parts of London that even now are easily pictured as the hunting ground of Jack.
The great trip out to Duxford and mom misreading the bus schedule and of course getting in trouble for having our pictures on a apparently still used run way. How were we to know?

Maybe it was finding a postcard at Grandmothers of this long ago trip that brought it home a bit. I spend a great deal of time wondering if she was proud of us lately. I know silly to wonder since I can't ask now, and even if I could who knows if she would answer truthfully. I also wonder if she would still be here if I had chosen to go to SMU or the University of Texas for school instead of the University of Greenwich. Suppose that is the only regret of the last three years and while it is a big one it is the only one. Suspect that is what has me studying away for these tests this week and trying to move on. It was a rough three weeks back in Texas. To have to pack up 50+ years of someones life and try to make sense of the reason she was gone is hard. The what if's are the worst. What if I had not gone, what if I had said no there is something wrong and forced grandmother to get in the car and away from my cousin. Hell what if I had stood more firm behind grandmother when she refused to have that PIK line put in in the first place. She would probably still be here, well there happy in her home in Houston. Instead my last memory was leaving her in that horrid place my cousin put her, for her own good according to Dian, looking so small and lost and I guilty for not trying harder. Even sadder is the theft that went on before grandmother even became sick. There was a reason my cousins wanted her in that home and didn't want her to leave. They had already started taking things from her house. Hard to believe that a "Good Christian" woman like my cousin would do that, except when one remembers she is an utter hypocrite. And unfortunately my cousin is why I find it hard to trust most Christians.

That was the hardest bit to find out grandmother had left us everything, but to walk into the house and see the things they had stripped from the house out of I can only assume wholesale greed. Most of it I would have gladly given them, but no they had to sneak into the house and steal. My grandmothers jewelry, even her wedding ring was not  sacred to them, just things that they coveted and took as if they had the right to do so. Well I have the faith that nothing goes unpunished and what goes around comes around. I am just angry and upset more because they have betrayed the faith my Grandmother put in them and she can only watch now. Oh well it has given me more of a reason to be sure that my will is clear and straight.

But enough of sad things, especially as Grandmother would not want me to be sad. She, as she said many times, was old and had seen the world and would not want me to miss out because she had passed. Probably I should enjoy the fact she is in a better place and much happier since she no longer has to wait for my weekly calls but can watch me constantly. Now that is worrying, who wants there Grandmother spying on every aspect of their life? No matter how saintly we are, we all have things we probably wouldn't share with people and especially our grandmothers. Though knowing her she is probably still yelling at Grandfather, I know she died in September but well she did have a bit of a long list of grievances with him the last I checked so she might be distracted for a bit longer. Though he is probably hoping she will run out of them soon, he must have been relishing the intervening years of peace and quiet he had enjoyed. But the whole thought of possible dead relatives spying does give one the heebee geebees. Dad has been gone for 27 years now and some part of me doesn't like to think of him spying on me and my various lovers through out the years, it seems a bit incestuous and disturbing really. And well we won't get into the various things I enjoy that well are very naughty to say the least. Makes one wonder though since we never want to think of our parents having sex how much of a trial we shall be for our own children at some point.

If anything death begins to make one think and wonder about children and I have begun the tap dance I do every so often when I think of having kids. At first it seems like a great idea and I find myself making funny faces at other peoples children on the bus. Then I start reminiscing over my own childhood and it sounds good till I remember how many times David and I were lucky to still have all our limbs let alone still be walking amongst the living.

 There was the bebe gun incident where we had an actual gun fight, it resulted in a broken window in the billiard room and 20 min of my brother trying to get the bebe out of my arm with a pair of tweezers. There was the time we decided if we broke our right arms we wouldn't have to do our homework and it might also have the happy result of making us ambidextrous like Grandfather Sailboat. Luckily it turned out to be too painful and David also figured out if he broke my arm first I would be unlikely to break his with the sledge hammer. Then there was the tiger trap/foxhole we dug in the back yard, it was about 8 ft wide and 8 foot deep. Luckily mom was not as oblivious as we thought she was and she didn't fall in. Then we had that joust on the ponies and then the trick riding luckily Sonnet, Rapunzel, and Ara were smart ponies and wouldn't have any part of either idea. Thankfully the cows were placid so the bull-riding incident only ended up with "Stubby", that was the bulls name, being slightly annoyed that he had two children hanging off his back and interrupting his meal. The hide and go seek on horse back that ended with me having 15 stitches and David coming down with the flu he caught from coming with me and mom to the emergency room. Then we snuck into town by hiding in the horse trailer. I swear I get grey hairs just thinking of the trouble we could have gotten into especially when we decided to make our own fireworks. And the thought of having kids quickly becomes one of utter terror, because I know no matter whom I dilute my genes with I doubt it will be enough to have all the kids survive to adulthood.

Heck if my mother is to be believed it gets worse with every generation. The stories of my great grandmother Bennett, well she would have been a Blair at the time of the incident, would make your hair stand on end. The mildest of the stories was her tricking the ostler at my great great grandfathers inn in Springfield to let her have the carriage so she could go joy riding. She would tell him she would drive it around for him since her father wanted the carriage and then take off in it herself. No wonder she was married off to a man twice her age. Oh well either way this has been the thoughts for the last few months and I am sure that I shall still think them, but well till the end of May priority numero UNO is graduating. I will be 33 this April and it is time to finish and become and adult even though I would rather not. And once I graduate it is time to join the real world and realize that kids, marriage, and all that are not as scary as I think. And that one way or another Grandmother would be proud of me no matter what happens, even if I end up the crazy old cat lady :)

All I want for Christmas.....

I have been thinking on this a great deal and maybe it is because of living in a country where religion is not as big deal. But the lack of overly shoved down your throat Christian nonsense has made me less eager to return to the stupidity of the states. It is relaxing to be able to say Happy Holidays without being screamed at or have morons insist that Jesus is the reason for the season even though it is more likely he was born in warmer months.

I just find it odd it only seems to be in America that there is any perceived "War". My aggravation is that I am made to feel that celebrating my holiday is under attack. That if I do not say Merry Christmas I am yelled at. The Christian portions of the population in America have become down right threatening and rude. I don't care if they want to worship their zombie off a stick then that is their prerogative. But if I chose to say Happy Holidays I am entitled to do so. I am also entitled to not have Christianity shoved down my throat. You want a nativity's fine I just get to laugh cause I have one too since the Sun is reborn on the 21st. Heck 90% of Christmas traditions come from pagan origins and have little to do with the birth of "Your savior".

So here is an idea you leave me alone and I leave you alone. I don't have kids but even if I did would welcome your celebrations if only to show the perversity of the beliefs to my children. As people shiver in the cold after losing their homes or because of a long illness while you give your kids ipads and other things. For some odd reason the season of peace and love has been about making the rest of us celebrate your damn holiday and if we don't to be harassed till we form a serious dislike for anyone claiming to be one of Jesus's chosen flock. Do these "christians" realise the bad PR job they are doing for their religion? Cause I can say this if I didn't know quite a few true Christians I would have a very very low opinion of American Christians.

Puppies

Well been looking for puppies for several months now and think I might have finally made a decision. Though I shall have to actually see the puppies to decide for sure. Looking at a Jack Russell cross and a Chi Chi which is a Chihuahua and Chines Crested cross. Well when I am sure one way or another I will post pictures and info. Anyway nap time have an early morning tomorrow.

Sadness

Well got an email today from mom asking me to call home and I did. She didn't want to tell me over an email what had happened. Grandmother passed away. This has been a bad year, First Gayzelle the best horse anyone could have, then Rigel my cat who was probably my best friend for the last 16 years, and now grandmother. Well bad luck comes in three's so maybe things will get better. Trying to be positive it is just hard being this far away.

The worst

Well everythin I feared would happen has. It has been two weeks of hell. No sooner had I posted that update than I get a call that grandmother had passed. To not go into too much detail the last two weeks have been informative. Did you know that as an heir in the state of Texas you have no legal right to see the will?

So far things have disappeared from the house and I have found there is little I can do since it will take all the heirs to do anything about it and well have no idea who has the other 30% of the estate. Just tired and sick of the bs and obvious greed of the executor and really wishing Grandmother hadn't changed her will last year.

Finally landed!

Well after the plane trip from hell, and I should know I travel way too much, finally landed at heathrow. Our fun started at Houston at that airport named after a shrub. There was a bit of a issue apparently which was fine with me since yet again I had spent too much time with my face pressed to the glass of one of the many airport shops. Funny how they fill them with shiny cool looking things that upon purchasing often become worthless paper weights, or even better you see one outside the airport and realize how badly they screwed you on the price. So an extra 20 minutes means more time to wonder about the shiny things.

So finally we get on board, of course I didn't make it to that coveted first class upgrade think that is a story they tell. You know a fiction so that we feel that the airlines aren't really screwing us and can be magnanimous on occasion. So we are all on board and we seem to be heading for the runway when there is problem up towards th front of the plane. Apparently a fellow passenger was being a bit stubborn and was going to get off the plane. This was a completely new experience for me as we returned to the gate. Once they managed to remove her and her luggage, this was a 45 min process, we thought we would leave. But at some point the electrical system went wonky and there was another delay while they tried to fix this. After another 30 minutes  it was determined that the problem wasn't easily fixable so we were herded off the plane to wait till another could arrive. Well one couldn't come for at least 3 hours so once again I found myself wondering what to do. The lure of shiny things had worn off since I was unable to afford them anyway so looking at them would not relieve my frustration. So I took the next obvious solution and went to have a beer. Several other passengers decided to partake as well and we have a very lively conversation, especially as one had taken half an ambien and was trying to stay awake till we could return to the plane. After the allotted time we reboarded and took off.

The flight was uneventful except that I tried to sleep and learned why I never bothered to try to do that before. I have never been so uncomfortable, and I suspect the seats were not designed so anyone over 5'11" can be comfortable. So after a restless painful nap I awoke to find us descending to London. At this point we got breakfast and I got the opportunity to show exactly how klutzy I am. I managed to spill an entire coke over my self so not only am I cranky and tired I was now sticky and wet as well. Even better is that I managed to spill it in such a way that I appeared to have wet myself. I was never so happy to get off a plane in my entire life, that was after I relocated my passport I managed to misplace in my search for a pen to fill out the landing card. I guess I looked so pitiful that customs waved me through and I was wandering out to see if my boyfriend had come to meet me. Thankfully he was though he wasn't pleased about the flight delay, as if I had any control over that. Then my cell phone was still not turned on, thank you 3! So after commandeering Lewis's phone I contacted Agne so I could figure out how to get to her place in Plumstead. So three hours later I finally arrived and was able to lay down, and yes that is correct grammar since it is past tense look it up don't bee itch to me :p.

This was all on Friday. So today has been really bad not sure if worse or better. Lewis got his wires crossed and miss understood the fact he needed to let me know what time he was coming over since I have no phone and was exhausted so unlikely to be up at a normal hour. Then I received and email from my mother, at least she understands the concept of phones not working, that my grandmother whom my cousins had put in a nursing home had come down with pneumonia. As far as I can tell she is ICU. Now that I am out of the country there is little I can do and I can not even call her because of the breathing apparatus they have put on her does not allow her to talk. So what do I do besides just wait for any word? I hope she will get better but I fear what this presages her death. I had these feelings when I saw her after her fall and I am not sure how hard my cousins will fight to keep her alive. I even have to wonder if she had been home with assistance if this would have happened at all. Maybe it is my own issues with mortality and the loss of one more family member leaving us with three. Though she has not always been the most family orientated of people she is still family and that means that I will do my best to be sure my grasping cousins don't hurt her. Though suspect it is too late and that medical power of attorney puts me at a disadvantage to do much. The other fact of being in London does make it complicated but I can be back in a matter of hours if necessary. I just hope this turns out well.

Getting closer.

It is amazing when you really think about it how fast time passes. Seems like I haven't been home for long, though when I think about it I know it has been close to four months. Though with the only important things for this three months being to get rid of my possessions guess it has made it a bit more painful so somewhat noticeable. Then there was my grandmother taking a fall and the realization that when I leave for London this maybe the last time I see her alive and that is pretty scary.

Made me think alot about life and the worries of what I would do if anything happened to my mother. We don't get along, mainly cause we are so alike, but can't imagine her not being here to help. Even more it has become apparent that I need to figure out what I wish to do. While I have always loved the family ranch not really sure that is the end I will pursue since that was my mothers dream. I have learned I need to find my own dreams for life and not let myself be drawn into others dreams to sacrifice my own ambitions. My grandmother has shown me what bitterness and selfishness can bring about and I do not wish to create that by not following my own star. I will support my mom, but that doesn't mean I can't have my own.

But think my path will lead me back to Texas in the end there is too much work to do here. I know the easy road would be to stay in a country that is more in line with my beliefs, but I have never been one to take the easy road. But well that is one of the many things I have been thinking about over the last few weeks. I also have been fairly morbid lately but that I think comes from how depressing everything is and how many people are full of hate for their fellow man. Think it all became a bit much when I went to the protest outside of the Gov. Perry's prayer meeting. That so many people could be so hateful and scream at people that they were going to hell left a very bad taste in my mouth. This only got worse as the weeks went by and it became apparent that some have no respect for anyone not even their own religion. The fire really brought that out with people who were not even in the area posting on important message boards about prayers. While nice it was irritating since those of us needed updates had to dig through the mountains of "prayers". Personally thinking it was a way for them to insert themselves into something as an attention thing. Not to mention the constant use of Jesus's name was a bit offensive even to my overly Christian mother.

Maybe it is cause it was what sent me away from the Christian religion in the first place, but the evangelising just is a bit much. It seems so many are only acting like that because they have to keep having to prove to themselves. Kinda like if you say it enough times eventually it will become true. Maybe that is what grates on me is the fact most seem to be so desperate to believe anything, and that is actually kinda depressing when you think about it. But the real pet peeve is their inability to accept others as they are. As if we all want to be plagued by doubt the way they are. I have seen many things in my travels and while I haven't seen it all I have seen enough to know I don't understand everything nor do I want to. There is amazing wonder in the world and to try and understand that is not in my nature. It is like my moment of epiphany standing on on St. John an uninhabited isle in the south pacific. We stopped on our way to Perth from Durban and I swam with sea lions and climbed the crater where rock hopper penguins nested. Upon reaching the top, a moment I will never forget, there was nothing but ocean and our seemingly small tall ship rolling on waves. I pulled out my old journal from that trip.

February, 21, 1996
As we broke through the waves turning to avoid the kelp beds, we looked back at the S/V Concordia. Her masts were swaying as the swells tipped her to and fro. The crater rim was quite high, and all along the top were rock hopper penguins and sea lions along the shore. The climb was hard but upon reaching the top I knew I had found a place of the Gods.
There was a silence that encompassed all. even as the wind blew there was no sound. I felt their touch and my hope and faith was restored after so long. I thought of many things and had many questions answered on that small island. I firmly believe one can find them self, and know them self on this tiny island. 

I wish I had been a better journal writer and  had added more than that one small entry. But I know I thrive in solitude better than amongst people. Maybe it is this moment that set that in my head, but my life has been a search for that peace. When I had my wreck in August 2007 I had another moment and the one thing beyond the pain and the waiting to be rescued was the knowledge that I had strayed. That is what got me back into school and off to University again. Gave me the urge to travel again and to see how much of the world had changed in 11 years. So I chose the UK since I would be close to Europe to travel and there wouldn't be a language issue, my French is atrocious and the Texas accent does not help it. But learned more of the world by living outside the US for the majority of the last two years. The things we see as important in the US right now in the long run aren't. Our American pride is keeping us from achieving as much as we could, not to mention the inability to say when we are wrong.

This last year will be bitter sweet since I know I will have to make a choice this next July. But that will come when it comes right now the most important thing is to get through my final year and graduate. To walk across this stage to get my diploma will be the one of the most momentous things at this point. From that point I can make my decisions on where to go from there. Though my dream has been to work for the IRS and within the regulatory arm of taxation law. So that maybe where I go who knows.

Funny started on a gripe about unchristian Christians and got to school hmm time for bed.

Fires

The past few days and the fires ravaging the area makes you really think about things. I have spent the last few days trying to prepare incase the winds change and the fires head our way. But how to evacuate 15 horses and ponies and 27 cattle? I have a stencil and spray paint cans with the idea of at least putting our phone number on all the horses so I can at least open gates and let them go. With two trailers we can not get all of them out so at least letting them go gives them a chance.

Out of all of this I will say it has caused me to convince mother to make an effort to scan family photo's so if nothing else we will still have them. To think about things and do more to make it easier if she has to evacuate at short notice. If thinks like that are backed up then she can just grab a computer and worry about clothing and other possessions. However it will take a while to actually scan all of them. The fires actually are probably the most scary thing I have ever dealt with. You can make choices of where to live to prevent most things but fire can not be planned for. I shall go back out and keep praying. I leave for London here soon and I just hope these fires are done by the time I leave.

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

It is amazing how many things I have kept over the years. Thankfully that hoarding show exists so I have the fact I don't want to end up like the people on it so it isn't too hard to get rid of things. I have gotten a bunch of those vacuum bags and are making progress. I have decided to give away most of my stuff since I don't need it and I can't throw it away. I have the same issue with books. Even when mom gave me one of Glenn Beck's books couldn't burn it even though I really wanted to. I eventually found a new home for it, but can't destroy a book they are too precious even if I don't agree with the things they say I won't stoop to the level I see many people today. Remember all those people burning Harry Potter books or that idiot Florida preacher burning the Qu'ran and they gave those books more power through their actions. Then there was the obvious fact that to burn the books they had to buy them so imagine all the money that publisher was making from their stupidity. I don't think ideas are dangerous unless you exclude all other ideas.

Guess that is the issues I have now days is that the GOP and the Tea Party especially want to remove all other ideas. They only want theirs taught and to my mind this should bother more people. How can this be acceptable? I just don't get this. We as Americans are stronger for our diversity of culture and beliefs and to exclude all others means we will lose the very thing that makes us great. I fear that we are seeing the end of religious tolerance in America and a return to the 1950's McCarthy era fear and hostility. Of lists and fear of our very neighbors. The things that baby Bush used to his advantage to do what he wanted for 6 years. He would strum the population with imaginary threats and fear to get what he wanted. I see this in the Tea Party they are so sure everyone is out to take their stuff away. I find that amusing since I really don't want any of their stuff. Who would want a bunch of rusted cars on blocks that in front of their house? I don't want their guns, though the idea of uneducated idiots with guns is slightly worrying. Really the Tea Party are anarchists and they just haven't realised it yet. They preach small government, and then they want the government to regulate the hell out of our personal lives so we aren't "sinning".

God does not hold you responsible for other people only your soul. We can even go further that if I choose to "sin" that is my choice. I really think people should stop being so concerned with other people and concentrate on their own lives a bit more. Guess that is why I have gravitated more to the liberal side since I don't feel anyone has the right to make decisions for me. I am still a conservative in of the fact I think we should be careful about being too hasty to trust the intentions of our politicians. I am conservative in and of the fact that change should be slow and over a longer time. But that conservative nature is tempered with the liberal ideas of community and that while I don't think I have the right to tell my neighbor what to do because I do not want him telling me what I can do.

I dislike that groups like the GOP and especially the Tea Party have taken this word and made it icky enough I now call myself a liberal. It is like a Christian friend that hates how they have twisted and perverted the Christian religion for their own power and gain. I believe in moderation and being cautious not rushing in and making sweeping changes. This is what I see coming out of the GOP and Tea Party. They want fast solutions and are often throwing the baby out with the bath water. I am only hoping that the conservatives return to their traditional values and lose the psychotic hell bent for leather authoritarian crap they are embracing lately.

A beginning

Well we are down to the last few weeks before I return to London for my final year of my degree. This time next year I will be working as an Accountant hard to believe. Though it is more irritating at how long it took me to get here. Oh well every great story has to start somewhere right.... and 32 isn't that old..... Well life has to start sometime and this summer home has shown me a lot of things about myself. Think we all have a hard time with who we are and the feeling that we haven't done enough. Maybe that is just me but it seems that has been bugging me most of the summer. With the drought here at home and my grandmother having fallen and broken her hip things seem so uncertain and unsettling.

Ever since I landed here in June I have been hoping for rain and it hasn't come. I have watched the grass wilt and dry up and eventually disappear. Right now the cows look like they have come off a hard winter and it is just barely September. Then my Grandmother fell and broke her hip and the family problems have become an issue. There is little I can do since grandmother has given her medical power of attorney to my cousin, and we  were not even told what had happened until several days later. I know it would be easier on all concerned if she is kept at the nursing/rehabilitation home, but she has lived in that house for 50+ years. I know it is galling for her to be powerless and depend on others when she has been independent for so long. However it is becoming apparent that most of the family is desirous to keep her where she is because it is in a more convenient location. As opposed to her being on the south west side of Houston she is now 30 min away in the Woodlands.

The issue boils down to the fact that I think she is already losing the will to go on because of where she is and even though it would be a pain would like for her to stay in her home as long as she can. I am not sure how long she will live but I would like her to be comfortable and in her home as long as it is feesable. She hasn't always been the best grandmother and the way she treated mom over the years has been less than kind. She also for reasons I have yet to fathom encouraged both sides of the family to not communicate with one another. I think it was a power thing and an attention thing. But she is my only living grandmother that trumps everything else, because I am not that kind of person to turn my back on family. Not to mention guess it is also from some misplaced hope that when I get to be as old as her someone will care enough to fight for me since well I have not always been the person I wish I was.

But I leave on the 20th and will not be here to do much and that makes me very concerned. What if she needs me and I am not here. The more time I think about it think the fates are throwing me some pretty clear signals. I need to come back to the states after I finish this year. Besides moving to the EU and taking a job because I am afraid of the possible witch hunting that the GOP seems to be hell bent on is not a solution. I suspect maybe I need to come back if only so my little voice might do more to make people realise how wrong and dangerous these people are.